We get into our heads and we allow negative thoughts to self destruct our self esteem and devalue our worth.
The other day I caught myself in a subconscious spiral of negative thinking, and I realized it was all about myself.
We talk so much about being kind and loving others, but are we being kind to OURSELVES? While we are getting ready in the morning, what are we thinking? When somebody compliments us, do we accept it?
There is a difference between knowing your true value, and valuing your looks, or something physical about yourself.
Knowing your value means knowing your potential. It means accepting yourself as you patiently wait and work for change to come. Knowing your value takes a lot of work and being kind to yourself.
I once had a friend who was struggling and asked her to write 3 things about herself that were kind and positive, and she found herself unable. She was so guilt ridden with her flaws and insecurities that she was blind to seeing her qualities. That qualities that everybody around her can so clearly see.
It is natural to want to become better, to desire change in ourselves and to strive for that change. It’s okay to say “I don’t like this about myself, I’m going to work towards changing it.” But don’t obsess, don’t allow these things to override your self esteem.
I found myself struggling with this in a particularly difficult time in my life, to the point where I was the constant nagging voice in my own head. One day the thought came to me:
“Would you say that to your best friend or somebody you loved and cared about?” The answer was no.
Then why are you saying it to yourself?
It is okay to want to make positive changes, and to strive for bettering yourself, but please be kind to your current self in the process.
For a long time I would find myself in this vicious circle of self criticism.
I would wake up and look at myself in the mirror as I got ready, and it was an instant nagging of things wrong, I would drive to work and it continued, then I would get upset and overwhelmed and lose sight of my goals because I was discouraged, then I would think to myself “see look, you’re never going to get better at that. You already failed after a day. You’re not going to change.” and the craziest part is that it was all subconsciously! I did it almost without even realizing it. Most of us do.
This pattern of thinking would continue on for months before it finally came to me how wrong and unhealthy it all was.
Are we treating ourselves with the same respect and love and encouragement that we are striving to treat others with?
If you wouldn’t say it to your closest, dearest friend, then don’t say it to yourself.
Find your worth, and focus on the good that you are and that you do. Find ways to be patient with yourself and don’t be your own worst enemy.
Stop doubting yourself.
Stop nagging yourself.
Stop criticizing your mind, body and spirit.
Stop allowing negative thoughts to linger in your mind.
Accept yourself, even the things you want to change, and be kind to yourself in that process of change and you will find that change will start happening a lot sooner. Things will appear brighter and the reflection of how you feel about yourself will be projected through your interactions with others creating a happier environment around you.
We all want a happier more positive environment don’t we? It starts with you.